i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
