Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
