i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
