I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
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so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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