Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
