The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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