Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
