now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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