I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
