i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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