operation harelip BJ is a go
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
