When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
