Grow some girl-balls and come out already
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
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He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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