yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
