Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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