a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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