Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize