Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Holy shit dude........stairs
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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