and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
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