p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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