Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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