Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex

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  (703): the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex http://tfl.nu/ydbw
  Replies (31) Good night (5377) Bad night (777)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.

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  (314): So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs. http://tfl.nu/hgyg
  Replies (14) Good night (5357) Bad night (1244)
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  (760): View more from California

  i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have

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  (760): i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have http://tfl.nu/ddny
  Replies (22) Good night (1083) Bad night (5378)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina

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  (856): i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina http://tfl.nu/7m3b
  Replies (22) Good night (998) Bad night (5268)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.

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  (612): She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity. http://tfl.nu/b3pk
  Replies (18) Good night (1066) Bad night (1459)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  What changed your mind?

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  Being sober

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  (616): What changed your mind? (1-616): Being sober http://tfl.nu/yhh4
  Replies (3) Good night (1663) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly

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  (513): As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly http://tfl.nu/ppua
  Replies (6) Good night (1204) Bad night (489)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You okay?

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread

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  (412): You okay? (1-412): I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread http://tfl.nu/1951
  Replies (3) Good night (1110) Bad night (613)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.

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  (630): And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates. http://tfl.nu/727h
  Replies (4) Good night (953) Bad night (432)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.

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  (317): I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense. http://tfl.nu/526h
  Replies (2) Good night (957) Bad night (437)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.

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  (816): TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN. http://tfl.nu/24ey
  Replies (4) Good night (652) Bad night (638)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.

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  (303): He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter. http://tfl.nu/2d6a
  Replies (6) Good night (1445) Bad night (360)
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  (323): View more from California

  This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.

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  (323): This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin. http://tfl.nu/blfu
  Replies (0) Good night (742) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties

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  (416): new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties http://tfl.nu/lfxl
  Replies (3) Good night (781) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?

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  (312): He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply? http://tfl.nu/di83
  Replies (5) Good night (235) Bad night (489)

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