i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
