I can't watch pbs sober anymore
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?