Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.