She is in my trunk
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here