Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.