I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.