real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
