Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
