Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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