i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You ruined the universe
Randomize