Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
