at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
