You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
i've created a new STD.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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