we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize