That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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