Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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