Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
