It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
being pregnant is like rehab
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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