dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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