I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
