Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in

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(561): View more from Florida

I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love

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(925): View more from California

i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit

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(205): View more from Alabama

Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...

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(586): View more from Michigan

She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.

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(305): View more from Florida

once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away

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(229): View more from Georgia

Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?

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(812): View more from Indiana

To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am

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