tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
