I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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