So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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