1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
