thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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