butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
