Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
