found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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