How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
