Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
