OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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