I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Houston, we have a squirter
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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