I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She needs sedatives and a leash
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
