Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize