how can u be prego again
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The Olympian is in my bed
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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