so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Sext me about skeletons
my liver is dry heaving
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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