I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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