i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
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