she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
