my sisters under your porch take her home
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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