hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize