She swung at the pinata with crutches
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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