I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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