we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
