So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize